Morning sun Breathing fresh Innocent newborn air My heart is filled rapture Love falling from cumulous sky Feeding me like mana I am whole, but more With you Knowing that life Is understanding weather cycles Prepared for daily changes Being centered in the Now Putting faith in Allโฆ. Keeping the one you love Safe from torrid storms A gentle wind carries who I am To the beating of your heart Three ravens circle over head Releasing blessings for us from neath their obsidian wings soaring in the elysian fields. Matty๐
We died that night Becoming gods from mortals I trusted you, I gave my heart It was cut from me With a switchblade knife
Ouroboros tail to mouth The Silver moon shines eternal Candles burn in the loft That We we’re supposed to share
“I love you” painted on the wall My blood not yet dried I feel the pain of tomorrowsu Tomorrows that were NEVER Meant to be today’sโฆ.
I’m no Phoenix, I Am Raven now I rise from the dead just the same My gift to you, was all I had I gave blindly to you and I burn
I am clandestine shadows from all Walking on glass over tightrope I see through you with X-ray specs My pain I try to keep silent I have no vision, no voice, I’m lost
You know that I love you I have never held back my desire I am honest, with nothing concealed I felt like we were reaching higher The prespitice of affections you and I
Some recognize me from what I was I don’t know if I’ll be here tomorrow Feelings I never knew consumed me I was engulfed in a funeral pyre Real love is foreverโฆ
This message I bleed, out every pore Premature ejaculation from my veins Stigmata, walking on water, for you Look over head, the black bird flies In honour, fear, in the name of love
I want to touch you, be in the stars Start our new beginning we deserve There is nothing in the world That I would not sacrifice for you I never knew, life could feel this way Trying to learn the cosmic balance How much to give openly of me How much of me kept from the Wall
We are the same, and we know that We’ve known this before day one My Superpower, my kryptonite You are my strength and weakness
I felt the lips of the ancient gods And received their blessings to be It’s up to you, I’m just a clown A beautiful clown you said was yours I stand before you, open armed Lay on the floor prostrate, vulnerable
There is nothing in the world That I wouldn’t do for you Capturing the sun and the moon This is true Love Don’t run away from us
This is Our chance for New Life I am nesting preparing the way I miss you more more than you know
I love you, I adore you am I selfish For wanting more, I love you, I adore you am I selfish for wanting more, I want you to feel the same feel the same as me.
Have you settled on alone, simply a martyrโฆ the world was designed for the fire of two. Born into magick, raised in butterflies, nocturnal wild things, with necromancer tongues.
I think I, can feel my self slipping away, lost into the night. Am I alone believing these dreams or is there a breath of hope. The goddess card pulled, the yin to the yang, sexual and spiritual magick skills, we were equals in every way. Like a faithful dog I wait for you, for you, and you alone.
You have had me from before the startโฆ until you signal for me to leave and it’s over. One last spin around the bright silver moon, and into the sea I descend.
Crisscrossing across America to the land of Gold and Dreams
Jude
Said “Hey Man, Don’t be Blue”
There is another side of the rainbow yet to be explored.
You knew inside, that it was more but your silence and misconduct would be the downfall and more.
You pulled the velvet curtain from underneath Persephone’s feet, causing panic anxiety and wearing the ring of unloved loved folly.
Hey Jude, I heard the news, you weren’t Bonnie and Clyde, but took what you thought was Bonnie’s ride. Crisscrossing across America to the land of Gold and Dreams. You never stopped to wonder if everything was as it seemed.
Alone inside of yourself, you were Dizzy inside, filling your soul with alcohol to make the pain and hurt go blind. You tried to be beautiful, you cost Persephone’s trust and you lied. Stealing a mint and leaving a trail of dust you were bound to shatter more than dreams.
The waves crash inland, there was an Arctic chill in the air. Days turned into months and months into years. Years turned into decades… And Alone Persephone forged along a Mother with pen in hand.
“Don’t Fire! til you see the whites of their eyes” But It was too late to react for they wore blinders of ignorance and wet lettuce as shields
“Poetry written is for the self, to make one happy, sad or satisfied… Some, the hungry, say it even feeds their egos. Damn the fools that make up the public. The collectors of words and bringers of prosperity. The writer is what matters. Staying true to their own words and sacrifice, to remain cozy with nouns, verbs, adjectives, along with adverbs of their own creaction. Word salads are designed to whet the writer’s appetite. There, wrapped up all cozy in the privacy of their prose, content to be happy all alone. Not wanting or willing to reach next level of success, there where the air runs thin yet abundant. The poet that calls themselves poet, if they were to reach these sheer altitudes, could they have the fortitude to survive by design?” Anderson Forthwight
Each step he took was another looping bit of confusion
No Pressure
It usually didn’t rain in southern California, but when it did the arid infrastructure wasn’t designed to hold even the smallest amount of seasonal rain at all.
Great muddy puddles of yesterday’s would stretch from the center of the street all the way through to the depths of broken sidewalks of tomorrow’s.
Each step he took was another looping bit of confusion, a special dirty cocktail mix of worry, panic, and anxiety. Pickled onions marinated his greatest hits fears looming over him.
He was scared of a sickness that’s condition hadn’t been revealed yet, with a head muted with silence, and worst of all, the possibility that his dreams of a realization and MagicKal bliss were crumbling down, without a sound unheard behind him.
He felt as awkward as he did stupid. He felt as stupid as he did lost. Whispers of the goddess angel reminded him not to worry, he would be alright once he felt that special sensation of being grounded again, and he knew what that would entail.
He’s been through hell and back, never realizing that his life was building up to these very moments. He knew he just had to move on, move on and trust, trust that everything would be more than divine. He was on a journey to meet his better half, two peas in a pod that shared each other’s mind and desires.
Amidst the chaos of his mind he wrestled with the notions of not being present enough with his caring and reassurances for her, because he needed to know she knew that he would indeed always be there for her.
Contrasting this with his actions of overstating his boundless feelings of longing, comfort, and desire, leaving message after message, posting after posting, growing so scared he’d that he had already driven his beautiful butterfly away.
It was undeniable, there was an inherent connection when the two met, that combined with the mysterious magnetic pull which undeniably led to the key to his eternal happiness.
No Pressure No Pressure
He tried to rest assured himself. That was the same advice he had given to her to ease her feelings of possible insecurity.
It was just going on past Fourththirty and he was more than ready to call it a day. Reognizing and recategorizing the studies vast and ancient book collection was more than a little tedious to say the least. He grabbed his car keys and his jacket and started to make his way out the brass and glass double doors just ahead of him when his jacketย caught an old India inkwell, dragged it across the main showroom table and be watched it in slow motion empty itself over the simple white carpet. Bad Boy! Bad Boy! Now look.what you’ve gone and done. Bad boy! Bad Boy! Now clean those chalk erasers, here, let me bend over so you can smack them on my tight firmย Ass you dirty little Fuck Toy ….. Bam..,. Bammm….Bammmmm Clouds of thick white dust fill the air… Bammmmmmmmm And she bit down both on her lower lip and finger. He pushed her off his lap, and she knowing moved before him, faced him directly from the front, her slightly red moist eyes behind the protective lenses, and he slid towards her still in a sitting position, and she reached up to his belt and zipper, feverishly undoing his buckle, pulling his trousers to his knees as she grabbed his Great COCK in one hand and massaged his oversized ballsack in the other… He felt so good, so warm so hot, to her that all she could think about was tasting his forbidden fruit….. “Cum bite the apple” And with a wicked grin, she smiled with those eyes…..
With the eclipse Light and darkness Equals Brother and sister dance Holding moments Before passing Stars Mars Venus Scars Meeting in Universal Intervals Spinning Each caught In the throws Of gravitational pull Daughter of Eternity Illuminated child of Shadows She breathes Exists Within two Worlds The black The white The knowledge of Eternity She
Is magnificent Pulling tides Controlling minds With subtle motion Madness takes sanity The forgotten goddess Worshipped by tribes Beyond the sun Sacrifices made In her name Ziggurat of Ur Olmec pyramids Ceremonial dancing Blood letting Creatures of the night The balance of life And Death She is the princess The queen Between worlds She Is Irina The goddess Of Duality Life Blood And Moon
You are the goddess of beauty I am the ugly beast of burden
Beauty and the Goat
Bend and swoon Underneath a Harvest moon You are the goddess of beauty I am the ugly beast of burden I will always love you in the ways That cannot be perceived by men. I will follow you as Persephone into dark harshness if the underworld. Grab me by the horns, and do what thou wilt to me. I am yours in every sense of the word. Talk me, let me hold you, protect you, be the vision of Cane. What lies before you prostate is no mear beast, but a former lover of centuries past. Hold me, guide me to the land of light and promise… It is here under the Hollywood sign, that we first made love… We are yin, we are yang, we are one we are.. what humans dreams are made up of. Now … My goddess, take me underneath the Harvest Moon. 93/93
MB93 LL๐ค๐ฅ๐ฎ You are my better half …. #mb93 #magick #theGoat #persephone #yinyang #goddess
Reflections mirror pain and loneliness that can only be captured by a million maybe tomorrows.
Moments
Moments tumble, fumble, through the darkness into an empty haze. Poor satellite images signal through, the black and the white film Noir chic alabaster skin.
Reflections mirror pain and loneliness that can only be captured by a million maybe tomorrows.
This wasn’t the Deal. It wasn’t in the cards. The echoes of broken promises that leave their mark etched and burned as yet another warning to others.
Can he heal?
Mr. Fly by Night is down for the count. Can he ever feel, safe again, brave again sane enough to let his fragile guard down again.
The control tower fizzles electric dialogue, tries to reach him, answering a long outstanding S.O.S.
“Get down fella, keep your nose to The pavement. You got sumthin’ to Say… You better save it”
The shiny barrel of a Colt 44, catches a glint of moonlight.
Menacing and calculated, spread eagle on the concrete air-strip that lifts off to anywhere-ville, he foresees hair, scalp, blood and brain matter painted red flesh over yellow lane dividers.
Ripcord PoP! Echo through the British Majestatis Province. In a world of black and gold, so much white. A thief to liars trial by fire, to give and give and never get.
The sound of muted thunder hits the ground like whet cement. Guilty of yearning, pagnes of repression amongst the depression, all crapped out on the whole ball of wax, reading between the sidelines, going head blindโฆ on last breath, one last thought all for naughtโฆ
Just how could he, laying in a pool of ever growing flowing blood, only feel the pain left behind from simply โฆ a broken heart.
But the luckiest guy in the world still scratching his head He loses himself In thoughts of “What did I do to deserve Her?”
He… was still a child at heart He believed in Camelot, MagicK and fairy tales, even green men that lived on the moon.
He looked for messages that the universe would leave Him! Secret encryptions only god himself could share.
Before he knew what had just transpired, there was an electric current that cracked through the air. Something had happened in that briefest of moments something that would change His life, and he, would never be the same
Again
He grew up in silence, hearing whispered tales of Aphrodite, her formidable beauty, her lethal charms. While the people of the ancient world both loved and feared her, they erected temples in honour of all that she was.
He remembered crossing the familiar tundra almost curbside, that went on for acres speckled only with the tiniest of elm trees, for a hot chocolate and an ice cream, no…. He never considered himself “not” weird or an outcast. These wore the titles that he, himself embraced as badges, and on worse days, armour even.
It was going on three o’clock in the afternoon, and it seemed that the sun was already retiring from the day’s non adventure. Diane came up to him smiling wide per usual with about four coats of lipstick too much for her complexion.
She was good people though, genuine, a proud reflection of what America pretends it once was. The sparkle in her eyes, her friendly demeanor, everything about her was legit, she didn’t put on no show to get some floozy two dollar tip. (Though it could be argued that them top two buttons on her blouse could be leading one to temptation, but to be honest, it was the best she could do to contain herself within the garment itself).
It didn’t matter who he was anymore. A silent matchstick just hoping to catch the last breath of flame to reignite , something before everything else around him died.
There was nothing conventiental in his thoughts or actions. He used to believe in “The Great Hope”. He used to believe in brilliant tomorrows, in change and of course the most elusive of them all, Love.
It was some 10:30 am, not exactly early, not exactly late by L.A. standardsโฆ. But definitely the perfect time to start his day off with 25ยข depth chargers and kamikazes. “Ain’t Nuthin’ like the spoils of rot guy for breakfast to start you on your dayโฆ.. “
Today had started out actually promising for once, he allowed himself a glimmer of happiness to enter and invade his lifeโฆ had he been foolish once once again? Or was there some freak technical obstruction that kept HER silent away from all that he had been working towards, for THEM.
Feeling was the manifestation of pain and total black out of communication was a slippery slope, one that he tried to guide himself through. . His stupid illness placed the blame fully on himself, and the echoing words of “I told you so, I knew that you would get hurt”, never trailed far behind his understanding of what might have beens.
He knew he was not perfect, to mushy on the vulnerable side with a confidence that had been chewed up and spit out by some Ninja Bulletโฆ. Because he needed to believe, In Her.
He felt his remainsโฆ. Dwindling away, without purpose when just just so recently , he declared joy and happiness that out weighed any of those alive, in the presence of today. He Knew Beauty, He Knew Happiness, He knew Joy and Hope and for the first time in his 50+ years, things had finally made sense, and for some reason, it felt like the shiney red carpet was being pulled from beneath his feet causing him to fall and lose everything in mere moments โฆ.because it was HE surely it was some silly way of trying to sabotage himself for not deserving โฆ Her
“My inner voice that likes me so thrives telling me how stupid I am for thinking I’m worthy of Love…it just found a way to get in tonight…and I typed going as in going to feel better tomorrow..not as in going, going.”……….
Are you? …. going, going…….?
Is this the reason why? I have not heard from you in 24 hours?
Truly, I have never felt this confusion or pain…. On the day with the biggest surprises that surely would have been bliss….. And I still try to maintain hope… But as the Capricorn feels so does the Aquarian…. For we are one in the same …..
Suffering and genius go hand in hand married to brilliance
Art Deco thoughts meander down Champagne dreams lost among the poets and sculptors
Madness breeds and thrives within alcohol and jealous veins insane
Icons of youth and successโenfants terribles of the Jazz Age She raged/ liquored up spinning OUT/ the archetype flapper birthing the fire flash paper generation
There was only a little darkness left, as the morning slowly started to raise her tired eyes, and there was nothing I wanted more in the world than to join her, as she brings me a comfort that I’ve never experienced before, nor realized I desired so badly.
It was somewhere between these thoughts that he recognized this longing to share. Share all that he had, all that he was, and embrace morning for all her inspiration and glory.
He was in deep and he knew it, and what’s more, he wouldn’t have it any other way. He could count on one hand the amount of times he was truly happy, and it seems that all those silly fingers on that hand belonged to her.
It was growing actually cold outside, well for California anyway. He felt the need to put socks on and felt a bit more than ridiculous when thinking about the weather conditions of the rest of the country.
In his head he could hear heralding angels, and he wanted nothing more than to be officially united with the “one” that he indeed loved. There was so much that he wanted to share and experience with her, he had indeed wholeheartedly given her the key to his heart. There was nothing more that he wanted than for her to use it and come to him through the dusty door.
You are something special, something sacred, I wish that I could be More, for you. He hated moments of silence, and he knew why too. In these moments he was left alone with his thoughts and for some reason insecurities he never felt otherwise. The silence fed upon him and his vulnerability like white wolves in a black forest, going straight for his jugular vein. He was basically totally defenseless from himself!
Where was the morning? Where was the warmth? Did he drive her away with his withering mind, that had become so susceptible to creating negative reactions? Will she rise and bring the noon? Warm his heart and comfort his soul? Was all of this too much pressure to pass on? Was This sharing of himself too much?
It’s too late to go to bed, it’s early to be awake so he found himself, alone with these haunted thoughts, pacing back and forth, back and forth through purgatory itself.
All he wanted, right here, right now, was to truly feel safe and be comforted by morning’s soft embrace.
Lost In miserable darkness Running Away Looking for Death Looking for Love You’re fading away You’re fading away Standing alone Joining the trees Joining the trees You are One You are One You have found Home
These โฆ were lonely nights Lonely nights filled nothingness Nothingness filled his undead life His undead life filled with a sunless sky Les Fleurs du Mal hung on the wall The pained cry of of the harmon mute Brings cold tears drops from chandelier A silent reign of blood forsaken abode This empty hunger grows and it grows Memoirs decaying fleeting bring despair His former self a shadow of distant hope Ancient lusts cum on the tip of Lilith’s tongue while indulging her desires within He blows slowly, gently calling on muse The hollow framework of his regal mind Denied all the humanity of what could be Requiem echoes and fades with each note as the Wolfgang tradition continues The drained soul, empty heart once bled Sadness oozes from Gothic ambience Surrounding the pagne within his eyes Melody, Melody, the symphony of death Is to familiar a song for the vampyre
1) it is Not you Job!!! To put a Smile on everyone You are Not alone feeling that either! I was Just explaining that to a very Special someone JUST Today! Making others happy, is idealistically Great! But, No one refills the coffers, gives Back what you give, and I understand that is not the Driving “purpose” … But I do know, you can Not drive a car that has Run out of gas! And there are too many of them, they WILL consume you, if you were to make each and every single one happy or smile, there is No Room for you!!!! You understand? No Room I’m Your Life FOR YOU! 2) WHO …. broke you You must understand exactly Who, How they broke you you, and in what way they broke you!!!! 3) understanding 1& 2 you can begin 3!!!!! Healing
4) be honest What do you want What are your goals Visualize HOW to achieve them How to climb this Ladder…. 5) Understand, No Matter What!!!! You Are Worth IT! GIVE Yourself the self Love that You Need! Who else can you count on? Your Worth It!!! You Deserve IT! 6) EXAMINE the wounds What are the wounds? Are they as Serious as you feel they Are? Or Are you Stuck, in pain, staring at them … In Shock Not Able to Do anything about them, due to the Shock, so you hyper focus bOn the wounds giving them More power than they truly Have ! (This happens in panic and anxiety attacks so I know the struggle)
Take Away the Power of the Wounds You Are Stronger than the Wounds You were created that way It Is JUST FACT YOU ARE NOT DEFINED by You Wounds 7) Eliminate All of those stressers, contributor’s…. Anything that is Not for you is against you! Streamline your life!!!! 8- Do IT!!!! ACT on it Set Your life in Motion Do Not Allow Any Excuses Or Maybes…. Do it Achieve your Goals, Dreams, Desires!!!!!
As a Celestial Being… This is YOUR Reality (No One Else’s) Your Movie! Write It … Make a Fucking Great Ending .. You WINING!!!!!!
YOU Got THIS… And … I got your Back as Well … This Is your Life Your Movie… But… Your not Alone !
The hazel autumn whispers Brought tears to my eyes Brought tears to my eyes I have never been touch before No never like this No Never like this Wild Raven hair reaches for me I surrender myself I surrender myself If wind had a name would it come down the Lane I put her to my lips I put her to my lips Swept up in her MagicK I walk through the fire Because I believe Because I believe And she’s radiant I want to SCREAM to the World!!! She is magnificent A boy meets a girl When smile because the breeze It brings joy to my heart I’ll never let go I’ll never let go Around a fire she dances Reflecting romances Of lives that have Come together as one Laughing and playing The song of the wind saying She’s the magick that you’ve Longed for All along